Out of control :o(

Oh Dear :o((((

The last 36 hrs or so have been a nightmare!

If it wasn't mouldy, nailed down or my own body part (hmmmm debatable!) I have eaten it! I've gone out of my way to buy stuff - chocolate mainly and eat it secretly (worst bit imo - the secretly) I'm not going to list everything. I've listed it on Minis if you really want to know. Although even there I've put 'more bread and more chocolate' and not owned up to the full amount.

I'm fairly confident it's over. However - how much damage it's done remains to be seen and I guess I'd better face this particular music on monday, even though I've said I only want to weigh once a fortnight now.

I have no real idea what started this off. I AM wondering whether the fact that I picked up a milky way in the newsagent's the other morning and then (proudly) put it back, meant that I unconsciously felt deprived and that was, again unconsciously, preying on my mind. If that's the case I'd have been better having the milky way. Perhaps that's where the saying 'a little of what you fancy does you good' comes from ...... 'a little of what you fancy stops you bingeing'!!!???!!!

Did the lack of milky way lead to the binge or would having the milky way have stared the binge earlier????? Next time maybe I'll have it and see. :o)

I'm not disgusted, annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, angry or whatever with myself ....... this is just another step in trying to sort out how I maintain and what goes on for me on that journey. All I am is 'sighing' that it's so hard and complicated!!

But I WILL get there!!! xx

Oh!! BTW - it's not a secret any more ... I came clean so at least that's something! xx