Who'd a thunk it?? Faced the music yesterday morning and I'd LOST 0.6lbs!!!
I DID try to do some compensating on Sunday but on the other hand we went out on Sunday night and I had a few voddies .... Thinking about it perhaps that meant i was a bit dehydrated yesterday morning. But even if that IS the reason I'd lost - I don't care. That little loss has given me a boost and motivated me with a light heart - not the heavy one I was expecting to have this week - to get on with eating 'properly'. Being sensible and having proper meals with all the food groups!
I've got about 4lbs to lose to get back to my comfort zone. This could take several weeks but I'm fine with that.
What I need to keep reminding myself is that everything I put in my mouth is a choice! Have to wonder though why sometimes the wise choices are so much harder than others! xx
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Saturday, 21 November 2009
Out of control :o(
Oh Dear :o((((
The last 36 hrs or so have been a nightmare!
If it wasn't mouldy, nailed down or my own body part (hmmmm debatable!) I have eaten it! I've gone out of my way to buy stuff - chocolate mainly and eat it secretly (worst bit imo - the secretly) I'm not going to list everything. I've listed it on Minis if you really want to know. Although even there I've put 'more bread and more chocolate' and not owned up to the full amount.
I'm fairly confident it's over. However - how much damage it's done remains to be seen and I guess I'd better face this particular music on monday, even though I've said I only want to weigh once a fortnight now.
I have no real idea what started this off. I AM wondering whether the fact that I picked up a milky way in the newsagent's the other morning and then (proudly) put it back, meant that I unconsciously felt deprived and that was, again unconsciously, preying on my mind. If that's the case I'd have been better having the milky way. Perhaps that's where the saying 'a little of what you fancy does you good' comes from ...... 'a little of what you fancy stops you bingeing'!!!???!!!
Did the lack of milky way lead to the binge or would having the milky way have stared the binge earlier????? Next time maybe I'll have it and see. :o)
I'm not disgusted, annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, angry or whatever with myself ....... this is just another step in trying to sort out how I maintain and what goes on for me on that journey. All I am is 'sighing' that it's so hard and complicated!!
But I WILL get there!!! xx
Oh!! BTW - it's not a secret any more ... I came clean so at least that's something! xx
The last 36 hrs or so have been a nightmare!
If it wasn't mouldy, nailed down or my own body part (hmmmm debatable!) I have eaten it! I've gone out of my way to buy stuff - chocolate mainly and eat it secretly (worst bit imo - the secretly) I'm not going to list everything. I've listed it on Minis if you really want to know. Although even there I've put 'more bread and more chocolate' and not owned up to the full amount.
I'm fairly confident it's over. However - how much damage it's done remains to be seen and I guess I'd better face this particular music on monday, even though I've said I only want to weigh once a fortnight now.
I have no real idea what started this off. I AM wondering whether the fact that I picked up a milky way in the newsagent's the other morning and then (proudly) put it back, meant that I unconsciously felt deprived and that was, again unconsciously, preying on my mind. If that's the case I'd have been better having the milky way. Perhaps that's where the saying 'a little of what you fancy does you good' comes from ...... 'a little of what you fancy stops you bingeing'!!!???!!!
Did the lack of milky way lead to the binge or would having the milky way have stared the binge earlier????? Next time maybe I'll have it and see. :o)
I'm not disgusted, annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, angry or whatever with myself ....... this is just another step in trying to sort out how I maintain and what goes on for me on that journey. All I am is 'sighing' that it's so hard and complicated!!
But I WILL get there!!! xx
Oh!! BTW - it's not a secret any more ... I came clean so at least that's something! xx
Thursday, 19 November 2009
Back home and back on track (hopefully ;o) )
Well it's been far too long since I caught up on here.
Been back from America for a week. Enjoyed it but don't want to go to Vegas again. I didn't really want to go this time but DH (darling husband) did and as he was paying ....... I don't really see the attraction in repeated visits. Once you've ooo-ed and ahhhh-ed at all the bright lights and recognised everything from the tv (ie CSI!) - unless you're a hardened gambler or are attracted to the other things on offer which are legal there (if ya know what I mean ;o) ) I don't understand the point. For me it was a case of 'been there, done that'.
However if enduring the - almost obscene in some cases - oppulence and the more sleazy side of LV was what I had to do to go to San Francisco then it was worth it. Now that IS a place I'd love to go back to. We only had 3 days and we fitted a lot in but it was whistle-stop. Fab Fab Fab place!
Food wise? I wasn't too bad - particularly for the first half, although we DID go to a couple - 3 I think, all you can eat buffets. I didn't go overboard, just had a little bit of everything I fancied - including the sweet things. But I'm talking about 1 profiterole, 1 miniature chocolate eclair - things like that - not HUGE platefuls of anything. In fact thinking about it I was quite controlled. I think I now feel I've just come too far to be stupid, stuff my face and probably make myself ill as well as piling on weight.
I took Lipotrim maintenance bars which I had every morning for breakfast.
We drank vodka in LV - except I had 1 VERY large margueritta. Anyone who's been will know - you just have to, lol!
In Frisco the Californian wine came into play (well it's only polite) - I've discovered I can really feel the difference when drinking wine to vodka. I feeeeel more full and bloated AND I get the munchies far more easily. I'm thinking this is probably all the sugar, though I don't know if that's scientific .... it's just how I feel about it. Strange really when you think I have LOTS of diet coke in vodka - logic would say that would bloat you more - but it doesn't seem to.
Foodwise in Frisco? We went to 'The Stinking Rose' which is a restaurant which serves food as a garnish to garlic. They do garlic wine, garlic ice cream .... need I say more? We had a starter of garlic cloves in olive oil which came in a little frying pan on a warmer and warm bread to spread (or squash!) them on. I then had garlic meatloaf with garlic mash - gorgeous but WAAAAY too much, I must have left half. DH had a lamb shank studded with garlic cloves. I'd say we stank - and we probably did, but we couldn't smell it so we were alright! Lol!
We had a chinese in chinatown another night - just one course and some wine and we ate in the hotel on the last night - Indonesian fusion (?) - I had Lamb Tagine and didn't need to worry about getting fat on their portions!
I wasn't too great for a day or 2 after we got back either. I didn't manage to get straight back on track but I did rein it in a bit when I worked my 3 nights and managed to come in, at weigh-in on monday, with just a 1lb gain from before we went away. Of course I'm pleased with that. What it means is that I have a total of around 4lbs to shift to get back to where I want to be, which is around 10st 3-4lbs.
All in all I'm okay with that.
Went back to docs (again) - arm still bothering me a lot. Nothing showed up on xrays and blood tests apart from 'inflamation'. She has now given me some more tablets (to add to the others not instead of :o( ) and referred me for physio. She's thinking it may be something to do with the arthritis in my neck irritating or trapping a nerve. Tbh it hasn't been as bad for the last couple of days but I'm only cautiously optimistic as this happened when we were away. I thought it was getting better and then I woke up one morning right back to square one!
So I'm 5 months into maintenace now. This, together with Minimins.co.uk which I've told you about before, is really helping to keep me focussed and not allowing me to take my eye off the ball for more than a few days at a time.
I don't even know if anyone reads this. I'd like to think it might help someone, if not now then sometime off in the future but for now if it's only helping me ..... well so be it.
Toodles! :o) xx
Been back from America for a week. Enjoyed it but don't want to go to Vegas again. I didn't really want to go this time but DH (darling husband) did and as he was paying ....... I don't really see the attraction in repeated visits. Once you've ooo-ed and ahhhh-ed at all the bright lights and recognised everything from the tv (ie CSI!) - unless you're a hardened gambler or are attracted to the other things on offer which are legal there (if ya know what I mean ;o) ) I don't understand the point. For me it was a case of 'been there, done that'.
However if enduring the - almost obscene in some cases - oppulence and the more sleazy side of LV was what I had to do to go to San Francisco then it was worth it. Now that IS a place I'd love to go back to. We only had 3 days and we fitted a lot in but it was whistle-stop. Fab Fab Fab place!
Food wise? I wasn't too bad - particularly for the first half, although we DID go to a couple - 3 I think, all you can eat buffets. I didn't go overboard, just had a little bit of everything I fancied - including the sweet things. But I'm talking about 1 profiterole, 1 miniature chocolate eclair - things like that - not HUGE platefuls of anything. In fact thinking about it I was quite controlled. I think I now feel I've just come too far to be stupid, stuff my face and probably make myself ill as well as piling on weight.
I took Lipotrim maintenance bars which I had every morning for breakfast.
We drank vodka in LV - except I had 1 VERY large margueritta. Anyone who's been will know - you just have to, lol!
In Frisco the Californian wine came into play (well it's only polite) - I've discovered I can really feel the difference when drinking wine to vodka. I feeeeel more full and bloated AND I get the munchies far more easily. I'm thinking this is probably all the sugar, though I don't know if that's scientific .... it's just how I feel about it. Strange really when you think I have LOTS of diet coke in vodka - logic would say that would bloat you more - but it doesn't seem to.
Foodwise in Frisco? We went to 'The Stinking Rose' which is a restaurant which serves food as a garnish to garlic. They do garlic wine, garlic ice cream .... need I say more? We had a starter of garlic cloves in olive oil which came in a little frying pan on a warmer and warm bread to spread (or squash!) them on. I then had garlic meatloaf with garlic mash - gorgeous but WAAAAY too much, I must have left half. DH had a lamb shank studded with garlic cloves. I'd say we stank - and we probably did, but we couldn't smell it so we were alright! Lol!
We had a chinese in chinatown another night - just one course and some wine and we ate in the hotel on the last night - Indonesian fusion (?) - I had Lamb Tagine and didn't need to worry about getting fat on their portions!
I wasn't too great for a day or 2 after we got back either. I didn't manage to get straight back on track but I did rein it in a bit when I worked my 3 nights and managed to come in, at weigh-in on monday, with just a 1lb gain from before we went away. Of course I'm pleased with that. What it means is that I have a total of around 4lbs to shift to get back to where I want to be, which is around 10st 3-4lbs.
All in all I'm okay with that.
Went back to docs (again) - arm still bothering me a lot. Nothing showed up on xrays and blood tests apart from 'inflamation'. She has now given me some more tablets (to add to the others not instead of :o( ) and referred me for physio. She's thinking it may be something to do with the arthritis in my neck irritating or trapping a nerve. Tbh it hasn't been as bad for the last couple of days but I'm only cautiously optimistic as this happened when we were away. I thought it was getting better and then I woke up one morning right back to square one!
So I'm 5 months into maintenace now. This, together with Minimins.co.uk which I've told you about before, is really helping to keep me focussed and not allowing me to take my eye off the ball for more than a few days at a time.
I don't even know if anyone reads this. I'd like to think it might help someone, if not now then sometime off in the future but for now if it's only helping me ..... well so be it.
Toodles! :o) xx
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Still Playing Catch-Up!!
Hi There!
Well I was very disappointed with my weigh in before I went off to Wales on 19th! I showed a gain of 1.6lbs. I rationalised it with the fact that I was weighing after only 2.5hrs sleep so it couldn't really have been a true of the bigger picture over the week.
If I was disappointed then imagine how I felt when - after a week being really good despite being away AND when I'd got weighed the night before and by my calculations this morning that should have converted into a 2lb loss ... to only be 0.2lb less! Not happy is THE understatement. Consequently I'm having a bit of an eating crisis I'm afraid. I'm not going to list all I've had - although I probably should, OR the whys and wherefores of every morsel .... I don't want to make any negative associations.
So - once again I'm on the catch-up trail :o(
Makes me wonder if this is how naturally thin people maintain. Overindulging and then compensating or do they automatically curb their eating and therefore not do any 'damage' in the first place? It'd be interesting to understand what comes naturally.
On a lighter note - I had a FABULOUS time at my little retreat cottage in Montgomery. It was exactly what I needed. I had lots of long walks and did all the writing - (and therefore clearing of the head!) that I wanted to - and a bit more besides!
Now I'm looking forward to Las Vegas & San Francisco starting Monday! Can't believe I'll ever be ready but I'm sure I will.
Revisited GP re right hand/arm tonight. She doesn't think it's carpal tunnel as I did. She thinks it's tennis elbow (!!! I ASK you!!! :):)) I'm going for a blood test to rule out infection in the joint and an xray in the morning.
Just hope I can stay in control .... too long without sleep = very very weak willed.
Talk soon xx
Well I was very disappointed with my weigh in before I went off to Wales on 19th! I showed a gain of 1.6lbs. I rationalised it with the fact that I was weighing after only 2.5hrs sleep so it couldn't really have been a true of the bigger picture over the week.
If I was disappointed then imagine how I felt when - after a week being really good despite being away AND when I'd got weighed the night before and by my calculations this morning that should have converted into a 2lb loss ... to only be 0.2lb less! Not happy is THE understatement. Consequently I'm having a bit of an eating crisis I'm afraid. I'm not going to list all I've had - although I probably should, OR the whys and wherefores of every morsel .... I don't want to make any negative associations.
So - once again I'm on the catch-up trail :o(
Makes me wonder if this is how naturally thin people maintain. Overindulging and then compensating or do they automatically curb their eating and therefore not do any 'damage' in the first place? It'd be interesting to understand what comes naturally.
On a lighter note - I had a FABULOUS time at my little retreat cottage in Montgomery. It was exactly what I needed. I had lots of long walks and did all the writing - (and therefore clearing of the head!) that I wanted to - and a bit more besides!
Now I'm looking forward to Las Vegas & San Francisco starting Monday! Can't believe I'll ever be ready but I'm sure I will.
Revisited GP re right hand/arm tonight. She doesn't think it's carpal tunnel as I did. She thinks it's tennis elbow (!!! I ASK you!!! :):)) I'm going for a blood test to rule out infection in the joint and an xray in the morning.
Just hope I can stay in control .... too long without sleep = very very weak willed.
Talk soon xx
Monday, 19 October 2009
I should have mentioned last night - the way I'm trying to pull back the gain I've had is by using the maintenance products twice a day as meal replacements, and having one light meal. Today though I'm using 3 maintenance products and having a couple of pieces of fruit. I think I've lost most of what I put on but I'll be weighing in 'officially' tomorrow.
As I'm going away though, I don't know if I'll have a chance to post but I'll try.
Hope you've had a good weekend! x
As I'm going away though, I don't know if I'll have a chance to post but I'll try.
Hope you've had a good weekend! x
Sunday, 18 October 2009
OMG!! What a dive!!
I mentioned we were going to Ty Mawr for the weekend ........ and that it was a Park Resort ..... what I didn't know was that they can't spell or put their words the right way round. 'Park' - as we were in Wales - should have been spelt the Welsh way really ie. Parc. In addition it should have been spelt backwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose we should have smelled a rat when the directions how to get there on their literature were wrong! When we arrived to check in we pointed this out and were told 'oh yes it should be this ....' only to realise later that they were wrong as well!
We were greeted at the entrance to the caravan with a pile of fag ends, a coathanger and a piece of broken pottery ...... (?)
Inside, my heart sank when I saw the bag of bedding thrown on the bench seat. I paid extra for bedding and of course should have realised I'd have to make the beds up but I hadn't thought. ... Ah well - I got on with it. Or tried to. We had 3 pillows and 3 quilts for 4 of us. As it happened my daughter didn't go in the end but they didn't know that. The pillows were easily folded in two and stayed that way on their own they were so thin. Daylight could be seen through 2 of them. We had 3 double quilts, but only 1 double quilt cover, the other 2 were singles.
The upholstery was stained and shabby. I'm no snob but it really was rough.
The 'resort' itself was the same - tired, neglected, rough, uncared for or about, it seemed.
The pub was an experience. One time when we went for a drink 6 people came and sat near to us and they didn't have a full set of teeth between them! The 2 women in the party didn't appear to have any at all! That, together with the greasy hair & shell suits may give you some idea of what it was like and was about the norm to be honest :o(
It was a bit embarrassing as this was supposed to be a break for my mother but, love her - she kept saying she thought it was fine. Fortunately she left her glasses off most of the time so that helped with her impressions everywhere.
The entertainment room was laid out like a bingo hall and as it happened we didn't end up going out in the evenings so can't comment on that. The whole ambiance didn't inspire us to explore any further unfortunately.
Still - mum enjoyed the trip down memory lane - Towyn, Rhyl, Abergele, Prestatyn, Ffrith Beach, Meliden, Dyserth and on the way back Talacre all inspired memories from when they were the old stomping grounds for her and dad. So I guess the trip served it's purpose.
I managed to gain about 5lbs though I think, so I'm now trying to pull that back before going off to a little cottage in Montgomery for a week of solitude. My little retreat I'm calling it, where I'm hoping to clear my head of all it's clutter by doing a lot of writing so I can then come back ready for more!!
See you soon xx
I suppose we should have smelled a rat when the directions how to get there on their literature were wrong! When we arrived to check in we pointed this out and were told 'oh yes it should be this ....' only to realise later that they were wrong as well!
We were greeted at the entrance to the caravan with a pile of fag ends, a coathanger and a piece of broken pottery ...... (?)
Inside, my heart sank when I saw the bag of bedding thrown on the bench seat. I paid extra for bedding and of course should have realised I'd have to make the beds up but I hadn't thought. ... Ah well - I got on with it. Or tried to. We had 3 pillows and 3 quilts for 4 of us. As it happened my daughter didn't go in the end but they didn't know that. The pillows were easily folded in two and stayed that way on their own they were so thin. Daylight could be seen through 2 of them. We had 3 double quilts, but only 1 double quilt cover, the other 2 were singles.
The upholstery was stained and shabby. I'm no snob but it really was rough.
The 'resort' itself was the same - tired, neglected, rough, uncared for or about, it seemed.
The pub was an experience. One time when we went for a drink 6 people came and sat near to us and they didn't have a full set of teeth between them! The 2 women in the party didn't appear to have any at all! That, together with the greasy hair & shell suits may give you some idea of what it was like and was about the norm to be honest :o(
It was a bit embarrassing as this was supposed to be a break for my mother but, love her - she kept saying she thought it was fine. Fortunately she left her glasses off most of the time so that helped with her impressions everywhere.
The entertainment room was laid out like a bingo hall and as it happened we didn't end up going out in the evenings so can't comment on that. The whole ambiance didn't inspire us to explore any further unfortunately.
Still - mum enjoyed the trip down memory lane - Towyn, Rhyl, Abergele, Prestatyn, Ffrith Beach, Meliden, Dyserth and on the way back Talacre all inspired memories from when they were the old stomping grounds for her and dad. So I guess the trip served it's purpose.
I managed to gain about 5lbs though I think, so I'm now trying to pull that back before going off to a little cottage in Montgomery for a week of solitude. My little retreat I'm calling it, where I'm hoping to clear my head of all it's clutter by doing a lot of writing so I can then come back ready for more!!
See you soon xx
Thursday, 8 October 2009
New Fitflops :o)
Well! Who'd a thunk it??!!
When I got home from babysitting yesterday there was a message on the answerphone from my bank - I had to ring them urgently. Apparently someone tried to use my debit card details, they'd picked it up and wanted to check it wasn't me before cancelling the card...... worrying!
All power to the Alliance & Leicester though for picking it up!
Trouble was the plan for today was to go to a shop in Chester - tying it in with a visit to my step-daughter - to try & hopefully buy some of the new Fitflops for the winter.
In case you dont know Fitflops are FAB. They are sooooo comfortable. They started off as toeposts only but you can now get open toed sandals as well - which I actually thought I might get for the winter because you could wear socks with them - you'd look a cut but the benefits far outweigh the embarrassment. When I'm in my Fitflops full time my chronic back pain magically disappears. In the winter though, in ordinary shoes, it gradually returns. Recently I saw an advert for Fitflop boots so thought I'd investigate. How fab to be able to wear them all year round now! The only drawback was that they're not very pretty. They're very like Ugs in fact :o( ... However! Though I couldn't make myself like any of the boots, they DID have just one pair of mules. Covered toes, open backs ... they were my size and they were brown - I had to have them. They weren't cheap at £66 but darling husband paid as I couldn't (I don't possess a credit card having had it taken off me a few years ago because I never used it. I cursed the Alliance & Leicester then but won't hear a bad word said about them ever again!)
So - with a bit of luck my bad back will now be a permanent thing of the past .... and with a bit more of said luck DH may forget I owe him £66!!!
Step-daughter has just started doing manicures, pedicures, make -up & stuff like that. So I had a lovely relaxing pedicure this afternoon too.
The only fly in the ointment today was a c**p lunch! This pub in Hoole has just been done up. I had a "blue cheese, avacado & walnut salad" that's exactly how it was worded. It was £6.25 and when it came it was in a little bowl - the 'salad' was just some leaves, there were about 3 pieces of walnut, a few crumbled bits of blue cheese and no avacado. When I asked I was told that the avacado was in the dressing .... ? I then asked if that was all they had to make a salad so he took it away and brought it back with a few pieces of tomato & 1 slivver each of green & red pepper. NOT to be recommended - although at least I didn't have to worry about it being fattening! LOL!
We're off to Ty Mawr in North Wales for the weekend. Taking my elderly mother for a short break. It's a Park Resort site. I hope it's not too cold!! ;o)
Talk soon :o) x
When I got home from babysitting yesterday there was a message on the answerphone from my bank - I had to ring them urgently. Apparently someone tried to use my debit card details, they'd picked it up and wanted to check it wasn't me before cancelling the card...... worrying!
All power to the Alliance & Leicester though for picking it up!
Trouble was the plan for today was to go to a shop in Chester - tying it in with a visit to my step-daughter - to try & hopefully buy some of the new Fitflops for the winter.
In case you dont know Fitflops are FAB. They are sooooo comfortable. They started off as toeposts only but you can now get open toed sandals as well - which I actually thought I might get for the winter because you could wear socks with them - you'd look a cut but the benefits far outweigh the embarrassment. When I'm in my Fitflops full time my chronic back pain magically disappears. In the winter though, in ordinary shoes, it gradually returns. Recently I saw an advert for Fitflop boots so thought I'd investigate. How fab to be able to wear them all year round now! The only drawback was that they're not very pretty. They're very like Ugs in fact :o( ... However! Though I couldn't make myself like any of the boots, they DID have just one pair of mules. Covered toes, open backs ... they were my size and they were brown - I had to have them. They weren't cheap at £66 but darling husband paid as I couldn't (I don't possess a credit card having had it taken off me a few years ago because I never used it. I cursed the Alliance & Leicester then but won't hear a bad word said about them ever again!)
So - with a bit of luck my bad back will now be a permanent thing of the past .... and with a bit more of said luck DH may forget I owe him £66!!!
Step-daughter has just started doing manicures, pedicures, make -up & stuff like that. So I had a lovely relaxing pedicure this afternoon too.
The only fly in the ointment today was a c**p lunch! This pub in Hoole has just been done up. I had a "blue cheese, avacado & walnut salad" that's exactly how it was worded. It was £6.25 and when it came it was in a little bowl - the 'salad' was just some leaves, there were about 3 pieces of walnut, a few crumbled bits of blue cheese and no avacado. When I asked I was told that the avacado was in the dressing .... ? I then asked if that was all they had to make a salad so he took it away and brought it back with a few pieces of tomato & 1 slivver each of green & red pepper. NOT to be recommended - although at least I didn't have to worry about it being fattening! LOL!
We're off to Ty Mawr in North Wales for the weekend. Taking my elderly mother for a short break. It's a Park Resort site. I hope it's not too cold!! ;o)
Talk soon :o) x
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