Who'd a thunk it?? Faced the music yesterday morning and I'd LOST 0.6lbs!!!
I DID try to do some compensating on Sunday but on the other hand we went out on Sunday night and I had a few voddies .... Thinking about it perhaps that meant i was a bit dehydrated yesterday morning. But even if that IS the reason I'd lost - I don't care. That little loss has given me a boost and motivated me with a light heart - not the heavy one I was expecting to have this week - to get on with eating 'properly'. Being sensible and having proper meals with all the food groups!
I've got about 4lbs to lose to get back to my comfort zone. This could take several weeks but I'm fine with that.
What I need to keep reminding myself is that everything I put in my mouth is a choice! Have to wonder though why sometimes the wise choices are so much harder than others! xx
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Saturday, 21 November 2009
Out of control :o(
Oh Dear :o((((
The last 36 hrs or so have been a nightmare!
If it wasn't mouldy, nailed down or my own body part (hmmmm debatable!) I have eaten it! I've gone out of my way to buy stuff - chocolate mainly and eat it secretly (worst bit imo - the secretly) I'm not going to list everything. I've listed it on Minis if you really want to know. Although even there I've put 'more bread and more chocolate' and not owned up to the full amount.
I'm fairly confident it's over. However - how much damage it's done remains to be seen and I guess I'd better face this particular music on monday, even though I've said I only want to weigh once a fortnight now.
I have no real idea what started this off. I AM wondering whether the fact that I picked up a milky way in the newsagent's the other morning and then (proudly) put it back, meant that I unconsciously felt deprived and that was, again unconsciously, preying on my mind. If that's the case I'd have been better having the milky way. Perhaps that's where the saying 'a little of what you fancy does you good' comes from ...... 'a little of what you fancy stops you bingeing'!!!???!!!
Did the lack of milky way lead to the binge or would having the milky way have stared the binge earlier????? Next time maybe I'll have it and see. :o)
I'm not disgusted, annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, angry or whatever with myself ....... this is just another step in trying to sort out how I maintain and what goes on for me on that journey. All I am is 'sighing' that it's so hard and complicated!!
But I WILL get there!!! xx
Oh!! BTW - it's not a secret any more ... I came clean so at least that's something! xx
The last 36 hrs or so have been a nightmare!
If it wasn't mouldy, nailed down or my own body part (hmmmm debatable!) I have eaten it! I've gone out of my way to buy stuff - chocolate mainly and eat it secretly (worst bit imo - the secretly) I'm not going to list everything. I've listed it on Minis if you really want to know. Although even there I've put 'more bread and more chocolate' and not owned up to the full amount.
I'm fairly confident it's over. However - how much damage it's done remains to be seen and I guess I'd better face this particular music on monday, even though I've said I only want to weigh once a fortnight now.
I have no real idea what started this off. I AM wondering whether the fact that I picked up a milky way in the newsagent's the other morning and then (proudly) put it back, meant that I unconsciously felt deprived and that was, again unconsciously, preying on my mind. If that's the case I'd have been better having the milky way. Perhaps that's where the saying 'a little of what you fancy does you good' comes from ...... 'a little of what you fancy stops you bingeing'!!!???!!!
Did the lack of milky way lead to the binge or would having the milky way have stared the binge earlier????? Next time maybe I'll have it and see. :o)
I'm not disgusted, annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, angry or whatever with myself ....... this is just another step in trying to sort out how I maintain and what goes on for me on that journey. All I am is 'sighing' that it's so hard and complicated!!
But I WILL get there!!! xx
Oh!! BTW - it's not a secret any more ... I came clean so at least that's something! xx
Thursday, 19 November 2009
Back home and back on track (hopefully ;o) )
Well it's been far too long since I caught up on here.
Been back from America for a week. Enjoyed it but don't want to go to Vegas again. I didn't really want to go this time but DH (darling husband) did and as he was paying ....... I don't really see the attraction in repeated visits. Once you've ooo-ed and ahhhh-ed at all the bright lights and recognised everything from the tv (ie CSI!) - unless you're a hardened gambler or are attracted to the other things on offer which are legal there (if ya know what I mean ;o) ) I don't understand the point. For me it was a case of 'been there, done that'.
However if enduring the - almost obscene in some cases - oppulence and the more sleazy side of LV was what I had to do to go to San Francisco then it was worth it. Now that IS a place I'd love to go back to. We only had 3 days and we fitted a lot in but it was whistle-stop. Fab Fab Fab place!
Food wise? I wasn't too bad - particularly for the first half, although we DID go to a couple - 3 I think, all you can eat buffets. I didn't go overboard, just had a little bit of everything I fancied - including the sweet things. But I'm talking about 1 profiterole, 1 miniature chocolate eclair - things like that - not HUGE platefuls of anything. In fact thinking about it I was quite controlled. I think I now feel I've just come too far to be stupid, stuff my face and probably make myself ill as well as piling on weight.
I took Lipotrim maintenance bars which I had every morning for breakfast.
We drank vodka in LV - except I had 1 VERY large margueritta. Anyone who's been will know - you just have to, lol!
In Frisco the Californian wine came into play (well it's only polite) - I've discovered I can really feel the difference when drinking wine to vodka. I feeeeel more full and bloated AND I get the munchies far more easily. I'm thinking this is probably all the sugar, though I don't know if that's scientific .... it's just how I feel about it. Strange really when you think I have LOTS of diet coke in vodka - logic would say that would bloat you more - but it doesn't seem to.
Foodwise in Frisco? We went to 'The Stinking Rose' which is a restaurant which serves food as a garnish to garlic. They do garlic wine, garlic ice cream .... need I say more? We had a starter of garlic cloves in olive oil which came in a little frying pan on a warmer and warm bread to spread (or squash!) them on. I then had garlic meatloaf with garlic mash - gorgeous but WAAAAY too much, I must have left half. DH had a lamb shank studded with garlic cloves. I'd say we stank - and we probably did, but we couldn't smell it so we were alright! Lol!
We had a chinese in chinatown another night - just one course and some wine and we ate in the hotel on the last night - Indonesian fusion (?) - I had Lamb Tagine and didn't need to worry about getting fat on their portions!
I wasn't too great for a day or 2 after we got back either. I didn't manage to get straight back on track but I did rein it in a bit when I worked my 3 nights and managed to come in, at weigh-in on monday, with just a 1lb gain from before we went away. Of course I'm pleased with that. What it means is that I have a total of around 4lbs to shift to get back to where I want to be, which is around 10st 3-4lbs.
All in all I'm okay with that.
Went back to docs (again) - arm still bothering me a lot. Nothing showed up on xrays and blood tests apart from 'inflamation'. She has now given me some more tablets (to add to the others not instead of :o( ) and referred me for physio. She's thinking it may be something to do with the arthritis in my neck irritating or trapping a nerve. Tbh it hasn't been as bad for the last couple of days but I'm only cautiously optimistic as this happened when we were away. I thought it was getting better and then I woke up one morning right back to square one!
So I'm 5 months into maintenace now. This, together with Minimins.co.uk which I've told you about before, is really helping to keep me focussed and not allowing me to take my eye off the ball for more than a few days at a time.
I don't even know if anyone reads this. I'd like to think it might help someone, if not now then sometime off in the future but for now if it's only helping me ..... well so be it.
Toodles! :o) xx
Been back from America for a week. Enjoyed it but don't want to go to Vegas again. I didn't really want to go this time but DH (darling husband) did and as he was paying ....... I don't really see the attraction in repeated visits. Once you've ooo-ed and ahhhh-ed at all the bright lights and recognised everything from the tv (ie CSI!) - unless you're a hardened gambler or are attracted to the other things on offer which are legal there (if ya know what I mean ;o) ) I don't understand the point. For me it was a case of 'been there, done that'.
However if enduring the - almost obscene in some cases - oppulence and the more sleazy side of LV was what I had to do to go to San Francisco then it was worth it. Now that IS a place I'd love to go back to. We only had 3 days and we fitted a lot in but it was whistle-stop. Fab Fab Fab place!
Food wise? I wasn't too bad - particularly for the first half, although we DID go to a couple - 3 I think, all you can eat buffets. I didn't go overboard, just had a little bit of everything I fancied - including the sweet things. But I'm talking about 1 profiterole, 1 miniature chocolate eclair - things like that - not HUGE platefuls of anything. In fact thinking about it I was quite controlled. I think I now feel I've just come too far to be stupid, stuff my face and probably make myself ill as well as piling on weight.
I took Lipotrim maintenance bars which I had every morning for breakfast.
We drank vodka in LV - except I had 1 VERY large margueritta. Anyone who's been will know - you just have to, lol!
In Frisco the Californian wine came into play (well it's only polite) - I've discovered I can really feel the difference when drinking wine to vodka. I feeeeel more full and bloated AND I get the munchies far more easily. I'm thinking this is probably all the sugar, though I don't know if that's scientific .... it's just how I feel about it. Strange really when you think I have LOTS of diet coke in vodka - logic would say that would bloat you more - but it doesn't seem to.
Foodwise in Frisco? We went to 'The Stinking Rose' which is a restaurant which serves food as a garnish to garlic. They do garlic wine, garlic ice cream .... need I say more? We had a starter of garlic cloves in olive oil which came in a little frying pan on a warmer and warm bread to spread (or squash!) them on. I then had garlic meatloaf with garlic mash - gorgeous but WAAAAY too much, I must have left half. DH had a lamb shank studded with garlic cloves. I'd say we stank - and we probably did, but we couldn't smell it so we were alright! Lol!
We had a chinese in chinatown another night - just one course and some wine and we ate in the hotel on the last night - Indonesian fusion (?) - I had Lamb Tagine and didn't need to worry about getting fat on their portions!
I wasn't too great for a day or 2 after we got back either. I didn't manage to get straight back on track but I did rein it in a bit when I worked my 3 nights and managed to come in, at weigh-in on monday, with just a 1lb gain from before we went away. Of course I'm pleased with that. What it means is that I have a total of around 4lbs to shift to get back to where I want to be, which is around 10st 3-4lbs.
All in all I'm okay with that.
Went back to docs (again) - arm still bothering me a lot. Nothing showed up on xrays and blood tests apart from 'inflamation'. She has now given me some more tablets (to add to the others not instead of :o( ) and referred me for physio. She's thinking it may be something to do with the arthritis in my neck irritating or trapping a nerve. Tbh it hasn't been as bad for the last couple of days but I'm only cautiously optimistic as this happened when we were away. I thought it was getting better and then I woke up one morning right back to square one!
So I'm 5 months into maintenace now. This, together with Minimins.co.uk which I've told you about before, is really helping to keep me focussed and not allowing me to take my eye off the ball for more than a few days at a time.
I don't even know if anyone reads this. I'd like to think it might help someone, if not now then sometime off in the future but for now if it's only helping me ..... well so be it.
Toodles! :o) xx
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Still Playing Catch-Up!!
Hi There!
Well I was very disappointed with my weigh in before I went off to Wales on 19th! I showed a gain of 1.6lbs. I rationalised it with the fact that I was weighing after only 2.5hrs sleep so it couldn't really have been a true of the bigger picture over the week.
If I was disappointed then imagine how I felt when - after a week being really good despite being away AND when I'd got weighed the night before and by my calculations this morning that should have converted into a 2lb loss ... to only be 0.2lb less! Not happy is THE understatement. Consequently I'm having a bit of an eating crisis I'm afraid. I'm not going to list all I've had - although I probably should, OR the whys and wherefores of every morsel .... I don't want to make any negative associations.
So - once again I'm on the catch-up trail :o(
Makes me wonder if this is how naturally thin people maintain. Overindulging and then compensating or do they automatically curb their eating and therefore not do any 'damage' in the first place? It'd be interesting to understand what comes naturally.
On a lighter note - I had a FABULOUS time at my little retreat cottage in Montgomery. It was exactly what I needed. I had lots of long walks and did all the writing - (and therefore clearing of the head!) that I wanted to - and a bit more besides!
Now I'm looking forward to Las Vegas & San Francisco starting Monday! Can't believe I'll ever be ready but I'm sure I will.
Revisited GP re right hand/arm tonight. She doesn't think it's carpal tunnel as I did. She thinks it's tennis elbow (!!! I ASK you!!! :):)) I'm going for a blood test to rule out infection in the joint and an xray in the morning.
Just hope I can stay in control .... too long without sleep = very very weak willed.
Talk soon xx
Well I was very disappointed with my weigh in before I went off to Wales on 19th! I showed a gain of 1.6lbs. I rationalised it with the fact that I was weighing after only 2.5hrs sleep so it couldn't really have been a true of the bigger picture over the week.
If I was disappointed then imagine how I felt when - after a week being really good despite being away AND when I'd got weighed the night before and by my calculations this morning that should have converted into a 2lb loss ... to only be 0.2lb less! Not happy is THE understatement. Consequently I'm having a bit of an eating crisis I'm afraid. I'm not going to list all I've had - although I probably should, OR the whys and wherefores of every morsel .... I don't want to make any negative associations.
So - once again I'm on the catch-up trail :o(
Makes me wonder if this is how naturally thin people maintain. Overindulging and then compensating or do they automatically curb their eating and therefore not do any 'damage' in the first place? It'd be interesting to understand what comes naturally.
On a lighter note - I had a FABULOUS time at my little retreat cottage in Montgomery. It was exactly what I needed. I had lots of long walks and did all the writing - (and therefore clearing of the head!) that I wanted to - and a bit more besides!
Now I'm looking forward to Las Vegas & San Francisco starting Monday! Can't believe I'll ever be ready but I'm sure I will.
Revisited GP re right hand/arm tonight. She doesn't think it's carpal tunnel as I did. She thinks it's tennis elbow (!!! I ASK you!!! :):)) I'm going for a blood test to rule out infection in the joint and an xray in the morning.
Just hope I can stay in control .... too long without sleep = very very weak willed.
Talk soon xx
Monday, 19 October 2009
I should have mentioned last night - the way I'm trying to pull back the gain I've had is by using the maintenance products twice a day as meal replacements, and having one light meal. Today though I'm using 3 maintenance products and having a couple of pieces of fruit. I think I've lost most of what I put on but I'll be weighing in 'officially' tomorrow.
As I'm going away though, I don't know if I'll have a chance to post but I'll try.
Hope you've had a good weekend! x
As I'm going away though, I don't know if I'll have a chance to post but I'll try.
Hope you've had a good weekend! x
Sunday, 18 October 2009
OMG!! What a dive!!
I mentioned we were going to Ty Mawr for the weekend ........ and that it was a Park Resort ..... what I didn't know was that they can't spell or put their words the right way round. 'Park' - as we were in Wales - should have been spelt the Welsh way really ie. Parc. In addition it should have been spelt backwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose we should have smelled a rat when the directions how to get there on their literature were wrong! When we arrived to check in we pointed this out and were told 'oh yes it should be this ....' only to realise later that they were wrong as well!
We were greeted at the entrance to the caravan with a pile of fag ends, a coathanger and a piece of broken pottery ...... (?)
Inside, my heart sank when I saw the bag of bedding thrown on the bench seat. I paid extra for bedding and of course should have realised I'd have to make the beds up but I hadn't thought. ... Ah well - I got on with it. Or tried to. We had 3 pillows and 3 quilts for 4 of us. As it happened my daughter didn't go in the end but they didn't know that. The pillows were easily folded in two and stayed that way on their own they were so thin. Daylight could be seen through 2 of them. We had 3 double quilts, but only 1 double quilt cover, the other 2 were singles.
The upholstery was stained and shabby. I'm no snob but it really was rough.
The 'resort' itself was the same - tired, neglected, rough, uncared for or about, it seemed.
The pub was an experience. One time when we went for a drink 6 people came and sat near to us and they didn't have a full set of teeth between them! The 2 women in the party didn't appear to have any at all! That, together with the greasy hair & shell suits may give you some idea of what it was like and was about the norm to be honest :o(
It was a bit embarrassing as this was supposed to be a break for my mother but, love her - she kept saying she thought it was fine. Fortunately she left her glasses off most of the time so that helped with her impressions everywhere.
The entertainment room was laid out like a bingo hall and as it happened we didn't end up going out in the evenings so can't comment on that. The whole ambiance didn't inspire us to explore any further unfortunately.
Still - mum enjoyed the trip down memory lane - Towyn, Rhyl, Abergele, Prestatyn, Ffrith Beach, Meliden, Dyserth and on the way back Talacre all inspired memories from when they were the old stomping grounds for her and dad. So I guess the trip served it's purpose.
I managed to gain about 5lbs though I think, so I'm now trying to pull that back before going off to a little cottage in Montgomery for a week of solitude. My little retreat I'm calling it, where I'm hoping to clear my head of all it's clutter by doing a lot of writing so I can then come back ready for more!!
See you soon xx
I suppose we should have smelled a rat when the directions how to get there on their literature were wrong! When we arrived to check in we pointed this out and were told 'oh yes it should be this ....' only to realise later that they were wrong as well!
We were greeted at the entrance to the caravan with a pile of fag ends, a coathanger and a piece of broken pottery ...... (?)
Inside, my heart sank when I saw the bag of bedding thrown on the bench seat. I paid extra for bedding and of course should have realised I'd have to make the beds up but I hadn't thought. ... Ah well - I got on with it. Or tried to. We had 3 pillows and 3 quilts for 4 of us. As it happened my daughter didn't go in the end but they didn't know that. The pillows were easily folded in two and stayed that way on their own they were so thin. Daylight could be seen through 2 of them. We had 3 double quilts, but only 1 double quilt cover, the other 2 were singles.
The upholstery was stained and shabby. I'm no snob but it really was rough.
The 'resort' itself was the same - tired, neglected, rough, uncared for or about, it seemed.
The pub was an experience. One time when we went for a drink 6 people came and sat near to us and they didn't have a full set of teeth between them! The 2 women in the party didn't appear to have any at all! That, together with the greasy hair & shell suits may give you some idea of what it was like and was about the norm to be honest :o(
It was a bit embarrassing as this was supposed to be a break for my mother but, love her - she kept saying she thought it was fine. Fortunately she left her glasses off most of the time so that helped with her impressions everywhere.
The entertainment room was laid out like a bingo hall and as it happened we didn't end up going out in the evenings so can't comment on that. The whole ambiance didn't inspire us to explore any further unfortunately.
Still - mum enjoyed the trip down memory lane - Towyn, Rhyl, Abergele, Prestatyn, Ffrith Beach, Meliden, Dyserth and on the way back Talacre all inspired memories from when they were the old stomping grounds for her and dad. So I guess the trip served it's purpose.
I managed to gain about 5lbs though I think, so I'm now trying to pull that back before going off to a little cottage in Montgomery for a week of solitude. My little retreat I'm calling it, where I'm hoping to clear my head of all it's clutter by doing a lot of writing so I can then come back ready for more!!
See you soon xx
Thursday, 8 October 2009
New Fitflops :o)
Well! Who'd a thunk it??!!
When I got home from babysitting yesterday there was a message on the answerphone from my bank - I had to ring them urgently. Apparently someone tried to use my debit card details, they'd picked it up and wanted to check it wasn't me before cancelling the card...... worrying!
All power to the Alliance & Leicester though for picking it up!
Trouble was the plan for today was to go to a shop in Chester - tying it in with a visit to my step-daughter - to try & hopefully buy some of the new Fitflops for the winter.
In case you dont know Fitflops are FAB. They are sooooo comfortable. They started off as toeposts only but you can now get open toed sandals as well - which I actually thought I might get for the winter because you could wear socks with them - you'd look a cut but the benefits far outweigh the embarrassment. When I'm in my Fitflops full time my chronic back pain magically disappears. In the winter though, in ordinary shoes, it gradually returns. Recently I saw an advert for Fitflop boots so thought I'd investigate. How fab to be able to wear them all year round now! The only drawback was that they're not very pretty. They're very like Ugs in fact :o( ... However! Though I couldn't make myself like any of the boots, they DID have just one pair of mules. Covered toes, open backs ... they were my size and they were brown - I had to have them. They weren't cheap at £66 but darling husband paid as I couldn't (I don't possess a credit card having had it taken off me a few years ago because I never used it. I cursed the Alliance & Leicester then but won't hear a bad word said about them ever again!)
So - with a bit of luck my bad back will now be a permanent thing of the past .... and with a bit more of said luck DH may forget I owe him £66!!!
Step-daughter has just started doing manicures, pedicures, make -up & stuff like that. So I had a lovely relaxing pedicure this afternoon too.
The only fly in the ointment today was a c**p lunch! This pub in Hoole has just been done up. I had a "blue cheese, avacado & walnut salad" that's exactly how it was worded. It was £6.25 and when it came it was in a little bowl - the 'salad' was just some leaves, there were about 3 pieces of walnut, a few crumbled bits of blue cheese and no avacado. When I asked I was told that the avacado was in the dressing .... ? I then asked if that was all they had to make a salad so he took it away and brought it back with a few pieces of tomato & 1 slivver each of green & red pepper. NOT to be recommended - although at least I didn't have to worry about it being fattening! LOL!
We're off to Ty Mawr in North Wales for the weekend. Taking my elderly mother for a short break. It's a Park Resort site. I hope it's not too cold!! ;o)
Talk soon :o) x
When I got home from babysitting yesterday there was a message on the answerphone from my bank - I had to ring them urgently. Apparently someone tried to use my debit card details, they'd picked it up and wanted to check it wasn't me before cancelling the card...... worrying!
All power to the Alliance & Leicester though for picking it up!
Trouble was the plan for today was to go to a shop in Chester - tying it in with a visit to my step-daughter - to try & hopefully buy some of the new Fitflops for the winter.
In case you dont know Fitflops are FAB. They are sooooo comfortable. They started off as toeposts only but you can now get open toed sandals as well - which I actually thought I might get for the winter because you could wear socks with them - you'd look a cut but the benefits far outweigh the embarrassment. When I'm in my Fitflops full time my chronic back pain magically disappears. In the winter though, in ordinary shoes, it gradually returns. Recently I saw an advert for Fitflop boots so thought I'd investigate. How fab to be able to wear them all year round now! The only drawback was that they're not very pretty. They're very like Ugs in fact :o( ... However! Though I couldn't make myself like any of the boots, they DID have just one pair of mules. Covered toes, open backs ... they were my size and they were brown - I had to have them. They weren't cheap at £66 but darling husband paid as I couldn't (I don't possess a credit card having had it taken off me a few years ago because I never used it. I cursed the Alliance & Leicester then but won't hear a bad word said about them ever again!)
So - with a bit of luck my bad back will now be a permanent thing of the past .... and with a bit more of said luck DH may forget I owe him £66!!!
Step-daughter has just started doing manicures, pedicures, make -up & stuff like that. So I had a lovely relaxing pedicure this afternoon too.
The only fly in the ointment today was a c**p lunch! This pub in Hoole has just been done up. I had a "blue cheese, avacado & walnut salad" that's exactly how it was worded. It was £6.25 and when it came it was in a little bowl - the 'salad' was just some leaves, there were about 3 pieces of walnut, a few crumbled bits of blue cheese and no avacado. When I asked I was told that the avacado was in the dressing .... ? I then asked if that was all they had to make a salad so he took it away and brought it back with a few pieces of tomato & 1 slivver each of green & red pepper. NOT to be recommended - although at least I didn't have to worry about it being fattening! LOL!
We're off to Ty Mawr in North Wales for the weekend. Taking my elderly mother for a short break. It's a Park Resort site. I hope it's not too cold!! ;o)
Talk soon :o) x
Monday, 5 October 2009
YAY!!!!
WehHeeeey!! :o)
2.8lbs of the 4.2 I've gained over the last few weeks has disappeared now! Dya know what I'm not sure why either!
Maybe it's because I've been consciously trying to have more substantial meals and I DO think I've picked less as a result. I've also been a bit more active. I've been 'swimming' weeeeel sort of ;o) ... walking ... had little grandsons to run round after. Hmmmmmm who knows?
In any case I'm off on the same lines this week. Been to the pool today, have those same grandsons tomorrow so maybe we'll be able to see if it's a trend!
Mind you we're away this weekend, so p'raps not. Just a weekend break for Mum really but it'll make a change.
Looking forward (NOT) to injections in my thumb joints Thursday morning. Hoping they'll sort out at least SOME of this pain!!
Age don't come on its' own .... better than the alternative the hubbie never tires of telling me ;o) xx
2.8lbs of the 4.2 I've gained over the last few weeks has disappeared now! Dya know what I'm not sure why either!
Maybe it's because I've been consciously trying to have more substantial meals and I DO think I've picked less as a result. I've also been a bit more active. I've been 'swimming' weeeeel sort of ;o) ... walking ... had little grandsons to run round after. Hmmmmmm who knows?
In any case I'm off on the same lines this week. Been to the pool today, have those same grandsons tomorrow so maybe we'll be able to see if it's a trend!
Mind you we're away this weekend, so p'raps not. Just a weekend break for Mum really but it'll make a change.
Looking forward (NOT) to injections in my thumb joints Thursday morning. Hoping they'll sort out at least SOME of this pain!!
Age don't come on its' own .... better than the alternative the hubbie never tires of telling me ;o) xx
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Happy October! :o)
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! October already ... Who stole September??
Popped into my Lipotrim chemist yesterday to pick up some maintenance products. Got weighed and was quite pleased to find I've only put on 1.4lbs in the 6 weeks since I was last there. AND I've been on holiday AND it was afternoon not the usual first thing in the morning AND I had different clothes on.
I'm thinking maybe I've lost a little in the last couple of days YAY!!
Anyway ... today I've decided to try having more generous meals in the hope it might curb my picking! On the whole I've been having salads lately. This morning I put a half shoulder of lamb in the slow cooker with carrots & stock and had some of that tonight with half a baked sweet potato. I've also brought some to work.
But anyway - this isn't supposed to be a food diary .... or a weight diary for that matter so I'll shut up about that!
Maintaining is no walk in the park. I can't imagine a time when I'm relaxed and confident around food and what I eat and drink. OR a time when it isn't the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep ... I think that's called obsession!
When you're in the 'losing it' stage you tend to think when you get there everything will just somehow suddenly be okay. It's a bit of an eye opener to realise that it's only the beginning.
Funny thing is - it's not as if I haven't been at 'target' before. I have! Loads of times! Maybe the difference is that this time I haven't just relaxed and started back on the upward journey. Maybe this time I'm realising that these changes have to stay in place, that any gain has to be addressed immediately if it isn't to be the start of a slippery slope.
In some ways it's quite a depressing thought but as I'm supposed to be only looking at the positives I'll say that it's been 'a revelation that can only help in the long term' ;oP
They say it takes 5 years at target before you're thinking and acting like a slim person ..... Oh well - only 4 years and 8 months to go **big sigh** ....... Oooooo sorry - turning it to a positive .... errrrrrrrmmm "Only just over 4&1/2 years and I'll be FREEEEEEEEEE!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!" :oP xx
Popped into my Lipotrim chemist yesterday to pick up some maintenance products. Got weighed and was quite pleased to find I've only put on 1.4lbs in the 6 weeks since I was last there. AND I've been on holiday AND it was afternoon not the usual first thing in the morning AND I had different clothes on.
I'm thinking maybe I've lost a little in the last couple of days YAY!!
Anyway ... today I've decided to try having more generous meals in the hope it might curb my picking! On the whole I've been having salads lately. This morning I put a half shoulder of lamb in the slow cooker with carrots & stock and had some of that tonight with half a baked sweet potato. I've also brought some to work.
But anyway - this isn't supposed to be a food diary .... or a weight diary for that matter so I'll shut up about that!
Maintaining is no walk in the park. I can't imagine a time when I'm relaxed and confident around food and what I eat and drink. OR a time when it isn't the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep ... I think that's called obsession!
When you're in the 'losing it' stage you tend to think when you get there everything will just somehow suddenly be okay. It's a bit of an eye opener to realise that it's only the beginning.
Funny thing is - it's not as if I haven't been at 'target' before. I have! Loads of times! Maybe the difference is that this time I haven't just relaxed and started back on the upward journey. Maybe this time I'm realising that these changes have to stay in place, that any gain has to be addressed immediately if it isn't to be the start of a slippery slope.
In some ways it's quite a depressing thought but as I'm supposed to be only looking at the positives I'll say that it's been 'a revelation that can only help in the long term' ;oP
They say it takes 5 years at target before you're thinking and acting like a slim person ..... Oh well - only 4 years and 8 months to go **big sigh** ....... Oooooo sorry - turning it to a positive .... errrrrrrrmmm "Only just over 4&1/2 years and I'll be FREEEEEEEEEE!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!" :oP xx
Monday, 28 September 2009
Changes
If anyone out there is actually reading this you may notice I've changed a couple of things. I'm trying to change my thought processes from keeping the weight off - which implies being scared I might put it back on - to staying slim, the things I need to do to ensure I continue to feel good about myself.
So instead of what I can't have and mustn't do I'm shifting the focus to what positive steps I can take to stay as I am now.
I don't think this necessarily changes the choices but it certainly changes the way you feel about the choices. "Can't" & "Musn't" will more than likely lead to feelings of deprivation, resentment and even defiance. Making the same choices but because they will enable you to carry on feeling as good as you do now even feels more positive just to say!
We can but try! :o)
So instead of what I can't have and mustn't do I'm shifting the focus to what positive steps I can take to stay as I am now.
I don't think this necessarily changes the choices but it certainly changes the way you feel about the choices. "Can't" & "Musn't" will more than likely lead to feelings of deprivation, resentment and even defiance. Making the same choices but because they will enable you to carry on feeling as good as you do now even feels more positive just to say!
We can but try! :o)
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Great web site
Hi again!
I've just found this great web site - a really useful tool for anyone watching their weight - wanting to lose ... www.foodfocus.co.uk check it out! xx
I've just found this great web site - a really useful tool for anyone watching their weight - wanting to lose ... www.foodfocus.co.uk check it out! xx
Bit of a wobble
Hi Again :o)
I must say though I'm beginning to wonder what's going on with me and my eating habits. It's not just in work I eat things because they're there! When I got to Mum's this morning I cut a slice off a little tray of stuffing she had left over from her tea the other night (it was a portion of Sainsbury's pork, sage & onion from the hot food counter) I tore a little corner off a piece of bread while her toast was doing and I broke a tiny corner off one side of a custard cream .... I mean - I ask you - what's that about???? Crazy!
Still had breakie when I got home - and that was more than I needed considering I was going to bed.
Been in bed all day and when I got up I had the end off DH's chippie fish and about 4 or 5 chips Then I had a pear cut up with cottage cheese & pineapple and later a nectarine with ff fromage frais. Went to Mum's before work where I ended up polishing off the rest of that stuffing with a teaspoonful of light mayo. ...... **sigh**
I'm really hoping that I eventually settle into some sort of healthy eating pattern - this picking isn't good. I'm still hyper-vigilant (ie obsessive ;o) ) about everything that I eat, drink - think about eating & drinking, but than I suppose it's still early days. I'm not quite yet 4 months into the maintenance phase so I daresay a few wobbles are only to be expected xx
I must say though I'm beginning to wonder what's going on with me and my eating habits. It's not just in work I eat things because they're there! When I got to Mum's this morning I cut a slice off a little tray of stuffing she had left over from her tea the other night (it was a portion of Sainsbury's pork, sage & onion from the hot food counter) I tore a little corner off a piece of bread while her toast was doing and I broke a tiny corner off one side of a custard cream .... I mean - I ask you - what's that about???? Crazy!
Still had breakie when I got home - and that was more than I needed considering I was going to bed.
Been in bed all day and when I got up I had the end off DH's chippie fish and about 4 or 5 chips Then I had a pear cut up with cottage cheese & pineapple and later a nectarine with ff fromage frais. Went to Mum's before work where I ended up polishing off the rest of that stuffing with a teaspoonful of light mayo. ...... **sigh**
I'm really hoping that I eventually settle into some sort of healthy eating pattern - this picking isn't good. I'm still hyper-vigilant (ie obsessive ;o) ) about everything that I eat, drink - think about eating & drinking, but than I suppose it's still early days. I'm not quite yet 4 months into the maintenance phase so I daresay a few wobbles are only to be expected xx
Friday, 25 September 2009
We're Baaaaaaaaaack!!! :o)
Well at last!!!
Here I am 31/2 weeks later .. sorry for the delay :o)
We had a FAB holiday. I was EXCELLENT - at first ....... I love all the greek food but initially I resisted the 'bread with everything' and the (gorgeous) oven potatoes but they gradually crept in as the time went on.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. In keeping with traditions of many years standing, we had (yes HAD) to have a bacon roll at the airport. There was ONE small difference to other years - I didn't have anything before we left the house - other years I would probably have had a piece of toast or something.
Before even getting that far though there was the first tradition of the vodka & diet cokes. Stemming back to my "there's no way I'm being enclosed in that metal box, shot up into the air and travelling at 500 miles an hour without being at least a LITTLE numb" days, we always take a couple of 500ml bottles of diet coke which have been fairly heavily laced with vodka to the airport. These USED to last us all the way through to departures and till just before we boarded. Now it's not OUR fault that we can no longer take liquids through security and therefore have to drink both of them in the check in queue now is it???!
So vodka and bacon butties consumed we only then had a packet of quavers each and shared a snack pack of fruit and nuts (you are what you eat ones) until we went out for our evening meal in Kefalonia because we didn't have meals on the plane. One GOOD thing to come out of having to pay for all the extras! We DID have some more vodka & cokes though ;o)
I'm not going to bore you with full details of everything consumed But basicaly it was fruit & yoghurt for breakfast, salad for lunch and a traditionally greek evening meal. Lots of wine and vodka too! I did have treats - twice we went to a certain place for certain cakes! I had a dessert twice and as I've said those gorgeous oven potatoes crept into the mix - as did the bread and lurpak patts.
By the last 3 days I could tell I'd gained something. I could still fasten everthing okay but there was a definite new 'muffin' forming :o(
I know better than to get weighed too soon after getting back because of the effect of the cabin pressure etc. This can take up to 4 or 5 days to alleviate itself so I got weighed - Oh about 3 hours after I walked in the house !!!!!!!!!! I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just couldn't NOT get on the scales - even though I KNEW they wouldn't make any kind of sense .... CRAZY!
So then I'm rationalising ..... well that's showing a HUGE gain ... hmmmmmm well it's night time (-2lbs), I'm dressed (-2lbs) there should be a few lbs of fluid (-3lbs?) hmmmmm so that leaves -about .... 7lbs :o(!!!
I didn't manage to get STRAIGHT back on track. I had a couple of not bad days followed by a couple of really AWFUL ones and then I did 2 days on total food replacement with some of the Lipotrim maintenance products. The first day was easy - the second I was really hungry. I went back to drinking loads of sparkling water too. By my official weigh-in last Monday (21st) I'd got the gain down to 1.4lbs which I was quite pleased with. This left me about 3lbs over where I want to be because if the little gain I had before we went away.
Since then I've been eating a lot of salads & veg with meat or (more often) fish. I haven't had much in the way of carbs except for breakfast when I've had either granola or weetabix. I had a few v&ds on Monday & tuesday night, I've been in work since. I'm experimenting with just bringing one 'meal' to work and nothing else. If I bring things to snack on 'just in case' I eat them whether I need them or not and the more I eat the more I want. It doesn't matter how 'healthy' they are, if I don't need them I shouldn't have them. If I can just have my salad or whatever it is that'll be a big help with the maintenence imho.
I have had a few spoonfuls of crumble & custard (weeeeeell would have been rude - homemade and all!!! ;o) ) However .... I had to go downstairs as soon as I woke this afternoon and as that's where the scales are I couldn't resist a little hop on and I've lost 2.8lbs since monday! Obviously I'm hoping it's not a 'blip' but I didn't think I'd been THAT good ..... It gave me a boost though - and added incentive not to 'pick'.
It's funny how the scales have the opposite effect to what you might expect isn't it? When I lose I'm filled with added incentive. When I gain I want to go and eat everything in sight!
Anyway - official weigh in next Monday and we'll see whether that was a 'blip' or not!
Sorry this is too long .. if you've stayed with it ... thanks ;o) xxx
Here I am 31/2 weeks later .. sorry for the delay :o)
We had a FAB holiday. I was EXCELLENT - at first ....... I love all the greek food but initially I resisted the 'bread with everything' and the (gorgeous) oven potatoes but they gradually crept in as the time went on.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. In keeping with traditions of many years standing, we had (yes HAD) to have a bacon roll at the airport. There was ONE small difference to other years - I didn't have anything before we left the house - other years I would probably have had a piece of toast or something.
Before even getting that far though there was the first tradition of the vodka & diet cokes. Stemming back to my "there's no way I'm being enclosed in that metal box, shot up into the air and travelling at 500 miles an hour without being at least a LITTLE numb" days, we always take a couple of 500ml bottles of diet coke which have been fairly heavily laced with vodka to the airport. These USED to last us all the way through to departures and till just before we boarded. Now it's not OUR fault that we can no longer take liquids through security and therefore have to drink both of them in the check in queue now is it???!
So vodka and bacon butties consumed we only then had a packet of quavers each and shared a snack pack of fruit and nuts (you are what you eat ones) until we went out for our evening meal in Kefalonia because we didn't have meals on the plane. One GOOD thing to come out of having to pay for all the extras! We DID have some more vodka & cokes though ;o)
I'm not going to bore you with full details of everything consumed But basicaly it was fruit & yoghurt for breakfast, salad for lunch and a traditionally greek evening meal. Lots of wine and vodka too! I did have treats - twice we went to a certain place for certain cakes! I had a dessert twice and as I've said those gorgeous oven potatoes crept into the mix - as did the bread and lurpak patts.
By the last 3 days I could tell I'd gained something. I could still fasten everthing okay but there was a definite new 'muffin' forming :o(
I know better than to get weighed too soon after getting back because of the effect of the cabin pressure etc. This can take up to 4 or 5 days to alleviate itself so I got weighed - Oh about 3 hours after I walked in the house !!!!!!!!!! I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just couldn't NOT get on the scales - even though I KNEW they wouldn't make any kind of sense .... CRAZY!
So then I'm rationalising ..... well that's showing a HUGE gain ... hmmmmmm well it's night time (-2lbs), I'm dressed (-2lbs) there should be a few lbs of fluid (-3lbs?) hmmmmm so that leaves -about .... 7lbs :o(!!!
I didn't manage to get STRAIGHT back on track. I had a couple of not bad days followed by a couple of really AWFUL ones and then I did 2 days on total food replacement with some of the Lipotrim maintenance products. The first day was easy - the second I was really hungry. I went back to drinking loads of sparkling water too. By my official weigh-in last Monday (21st) I'd got the gain down to 1.4lbs which I was quite pleased with. This left me about 3lbs over where I want to be because if the little gain I had before we went away.
Since then I've been eating a lot of salads & veg with meat or (more often) fish. I haven't had much in the way of carbs except for breakfast when I've had either granola or weetabix. I had a few v&ds on Monday & tuesday night, I've been in work since. I'm experimenting with just bringing one 'meal' to work and nothing else. If I bring things to snack on 'just in case' I eat them whether I need them or not and the more I eat the more I want. It doesn't matter how 'healthy' they are, if I don't need them I shouldn't have them. If I can just have my salad or whatever it is that'll be a big help with the maintenence imho.
I have had a few spoonfuls of crumble & custard (weeeeeell would have been rude - homemade and all!!! ;o) ) However .... I had to go downstairs as soon as I woke this afternoon and as that's where the scales are I couldn't resist a little hop on and I've lost 2.8lbs since monday! Obviously I'm hoping it's not a 'blip' but I didn't think I'd been THAT good ..... It gave me a boost though - and added incentive not to 'pick'.
It's funny how the scales have the opposite effect to what you might expect isn't it? When I lose I'm filled with added incentive. When I gain I want to go and eat everything in sight!
Anyway - official weigh in next Monday and we'll see whether that was a 'blip' or not!
Sorry this is too long .. if you've stayed with it ... thanks ;o) xxx
Monday, 31 August 2009
1 more sleep!
Official weigh in was a gain of 1.4lbs - not the 3 I feared but still not a good start to my holiday. Still, it's my slimmest holiday for an awful lot of years!
Had a lovely meal out this evening with my eldest son, his husband and 2 boys - which WAS a good start to the holiday. They're really good company and I love them loads. I got a text after we left them - apparently the boys were crying as though they were never going to see us again ... AH BLESS!!! ...
I've managed to stick to the 15kg luggage allowanace - with GREAT difficulty! We won't be able to bring anything back that weighs any more than the shower gel and shampoo we'll have used - although the dust & muck on the clothes we'll have worn sooo many times will probably have made up for that anyway!
Oh well - 6 hours until I have to get up so I guess I'd better get off to bed.
See you soon xx
Had a lovely meal out this evening with my eldest son, his husband and 2 boys - which WAS a good start to the holiday. They're really good company and I love them loads. I got a text after we left them - apparently the boys were crying as though they were never going to see us again ... AH BLESS!!! ...
I've managed to stick to the 15kg luggage allowanace - with GREAT difficulty! We won't be able to bring anything back that weighs any more than the shower gel and shampoo we'll have used - although the dust & muck on the clothes we'll have worn sooo many times will probably have made up for that anyway!
Oh well - 6 hours until I have to get up so I guess I'd better get off to bed.
See you soon xx
Saturday, 29 August 2009
4 more sleeps!
Well - only 4 more sleeps till Kefalonia ... YAY!
Feeling a bit down today ... scales showing a 3lb gain. It's my belief that this is fluid retention because I've had to give in to the arthritis in my thumb joints. It's been bugging me for some time but recently has been making my life a misery, and that's not being overly dramatic!
So I've been referred for steroid injections but in the meantime am on regular NSAIDs (Non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs in case you don't know) one side effect of which can be fluid retention. While I have been 'picking' a little bit it certainly hasn't been enough to put 3lbs on so I'm assuming it's a side effect. And that's fine except I hope my packed clothes will still fit me!
It doesn't feel good to be starting off the holiday with a gain but there's nothing I can do about it except ensure that it ISN'T anything to do with being 'naughty' - which I will do for sure! (Official weigh in monday!)
Sad to hear that one of the planes that helps put out fires on Kef crashed in the village we'll be staying in. Understandably everyone there is in sombre mood. It crashed right next to an accommodation block and could have been a whole lot worse. The pilot lost his life sadly. Having been to the same place every September for about 5 years now we really feel as though we know it and feel for the people there.
I don't know how I'm going to be ready for this holiday I feel as though there's still so much to do .... I have to finish the packing and weigh the cases to make sure we're well within the new 15kg limit and sort it out if we're not ... though if I take any less I'll be walking round with no knickers on! I've got to sort out the house - darling daughter is staying while we're away to mind the dog. I've got to do a month's worth of tablets for my mother - renewal WOULD fall this weekend! I've got washing to do. We're supposed to be going to the Mathew Street Festival on Sunday and the Wirral Food Festival on Monday. I want to see my middle child & his family before we go. I haven't seen them for 4 weeks because they've been on holiday. All this and I STILL need to harvest crops, plough and tidy the fields, water the flowers, see to the animals and help out & send gifts to all my neighbours on FarmVille & Farm Town !!!!
A woman's work .........
See ya soon xx
Feeling a bit down today ... scales showing a 3lb gain. It's my belief that this is fluid retention because I've had to give in to the arthritis in my thumb joints. It's been bugging me for some time but recently has been making my life a misery, and that's not being overly dramatic!
So I've been referred for steroid injections but in the meantime am on regular NSAIDs (Non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs in case you don't know) one side effect of which can be fluid retention. While I have been 'picking' a little bit it certainly hasn't been enough to put 3lbs on so I'm assuming it's a side effect. And that's fine except I hope my packed clothes will still fit me!
It doesn't feel good to be starting off the holiday with a gain but there's nothing I can do about it except ensure that it ISN'T anything to do with being 'naughty' - which I will do for sure! (Official weigh in monday!)
Sad to hear that one of the planes that helps put out fires on Kef crashed in the village we'll be staying in. Understandably everyone there is in sombre mood. It crashed right next to an accommodation block and could have been a whole lot worse. The pilot lost his life sadly. Having been to the same place every September for about 5 years now we really feel as though we know it and feel for the people there.
I don't know how I'm going to be ready for this holiday I feel as though there's still so much to do .... I have to finish the packing and weigh the cases to make sure we're well within the new 15kg limit and sort it out if we're not ... though if I take any less I'll be walking round with no knickers on! I've got to sort out the house - darling daughter is staying while we're away to mind the dog. I've got to do a month's worth of tablets for my mother - renewal WOULD fall this weekend! I've got washing to do. We're supposed to be going to the Mathew Street Festival on Sunday and the Wirral Food Festival on Monday. I want to see my middle child & his family before we go. I haven't seen them for 4 weeks because they've been on holiday. All this and I STILL need to harvest crops, plough and tidy the fields, water the flowers, see to the animals and help out & send gifts to all my neighbours on FarmVille & Farm Town !!!!
A woman's work .........
See ya soon xx
Friday, 28 August 2009
Up to date ...
SO!!! To (hopefully) bring it all up to date .....
After all the, ultimately failed, attempts to remain at some sort of acceptable weight I am exactly where I started 33 years ago - but content at that and determined NOT to pile it all back on yet again.
I have to say that the acceptability is my own - nobody elses. I don't think anyone has ever actually criticised my size .... weeeeeel apart from the teasing and name calling at school. What I mean is, the people who matter to me have never even appeared to notice. I know some of them are probably just too polite to mention it but I genuinely believe that even to those who DID notice - it didn't matter. One thing I've learned over the years is that most of what we believe people are looking at, thinking, saying to others about us, is in our own heads. In truth people are too busy leading their own lives, navigating their own 'issues' and workloads to even care.
It's rather liberating to throw off the mantle of 'what people think' and decide that if YOU are the person on the beach who makes other people feel better about the way they look then 'what the hell'! Come on now - we've all been there haven't we!? Surrepticiously glancing around - head turned one way whilst behind the mirrored sunglasses our eyes are everywhere until we can establish that we're not the biggest, or at the very least not the ONLY landed whale there that day.
As I write I wonder if throwing off that particular mantle has led to me actually doing this for ME for the very first time. To it not being about anybody else or for any other reason than I wanted to.
I've never been a great fan of 'incentives' to be honest. Not in the form of events anyway. If you're slimming for a wedding or a holiday or Christmas or something, what happens when that's passed?
One incentive for me this time was to be able to wear my own rings again. For about 7 or 8 years I haven't been able to wear my wedding, engagement or eternity rings. I can wear them now but there's no room for 'improvement'. When I had them sized down in 2000 I was nearly 1&1/2st lighter than I am now but they do fit. There's an incentive that won't go away and won't be at all forgiving either! If that further 1&1/2st dropped off me I wouldn't complain (well not if I was still healthy!) but I'm not going to make the effort to get it off. I think that I was too light then and that was part of the reason for being unable to sustain it .... well that AND being a total pig of course ;o).
What got me started this time was the sheer stress of feeling so 'fat' and sluggish, I'd avoid going upstairs if I possibly could. I now have 5 grandsons and an ageing, disabled mother so I needed to be fitter. And - not to be too graphic but there was a time when my arm really wasn't long enough to be able to wipe myself properly - so much blubber was there to negotiate its' way round. At the same sort of time, I couldn't kneel down in the bath (come to think of it I probably couldn't have knelt down anywhere else for that matter but I never tried) there was so much fat on the back of my legs. I guess I'd just had enough.
I'm very grateful that family & friends accepted me just as I was. It made it easier to gain weight (is the only thing) because no-one seemed to notice. By the same token they didn't particularly notice as I lost it either - not quite so heartwarming - but understandable. When I sorted out some 'before' photos a little while ago - one of them being on here - my eldest son was quite shocked. Even though he's in the photo he doesn't remember that I looked like that. And I might add that I wasn't at my heaviest in that photo. I'd lost either a stone and a half or two stone, I can't quite remember.
So from 15st 9.5lbs at my heaviest I weighed in this week at 10st 3.8lbs. This after 10 weeks of maintenance but I don't kid myself I've 'cracked it' - not by a long chalk.
With just 5 more sleeps till my first 'thin' holiday for an awfully long time the only fly in that particular ointment is the new 15kg luggage allowance GRRRRRR!! I could have done sooo much more shopping!!??!! ;o)
Katelios, Kefalonia - next tuesday here we come!!!! :o))) xx
After all the, ultimately failed, attempts to remain at some sort of acceptable weight I am exactly where I started 33 years ago - but content at that and determined NOT to pile it all back on yet again.
I have to say that the acceptability is my own - nobody elses. I don't think anyone has ever actually criticised my size .... weeeeeel apart from the teasing and name calling at school. What I mean is, the people who matter to me have never even appeared to notice. I know some of them are probably just too polite to mention it but I genuinely believe that even to those who DID notice - it didn't matter. One thing I've learned over the years is that most of what we believe people are looking at, thinking, saying to others about us, is in our own heads. In truth people are too busy leading their own lives, navigating their own 'issues' and workloads to even care.
It's rather liberating to throw off the mantle of 'what people think' and decide that if YOU are the person on the beach who makes other people feel better about the way they look then 'what the hell'! Come on now - we've all been there haven't we!? Surrepticiously glancing around - head turned one way whilst behind the mirrored sunglasses our eyes are everywhere until we can establish that we're not the biggest, or at the very least not the ONLY landed whale there that day.
As I write I wonder if throwing off that particular mantle has led to me actually doing this for ME for the very first time. To it not being about anybody else or for any other reason than I wanted to.
I've never been a great fan of 'incentives' to be honest. Not in the form of events anyway. If you're slimming for a wedding or a holiday or Christmas or something, what happens when that's passed?
One incentive for me this time was to be able to wear my own rings again. For about 7 or 8 years I haven't been able to wear my wedding, engagement or eternity rings. I can wear them now but there's no room for 'improvement'. When I had them sized down in 2000 I was nearly 1&1/2st lighter than I am now but they do fit. There's an incentive that won't go away and won't be at all forgiving either! If that further 1&1/2st dropped off me I wouldn't complain (well not if I was still healthy!) but I'm not going to make the effort to get it off. I think that I was too light then and that was part of the reason for being unable to sustain it .... well that AND being a total pig of course ;o).
What got me started this time was the sheer stress of feeling so 'fat' and sluggish, I'd avoid going upstairs if I possibly could. I now have 5 grandsons and an ageing, disabled mother so I needed to be fitter. And - not to be too graphic but there was a time when my arm really wasn't long enough to be able to wipe myself properly - so much blubber was there to negotiate its' way round. At the same sort of time, I couldn't kneel down in the bath (come to think of it I probably couldn't have knelt down anywhere else for that matter but I never tried) there was so much fat on the back of my legs. I guess I'd just had enough.
I'm very grateful that family & friends accepted me just as I was. It made it easier to gain weight (is the only thing) because no-one seemed to notice. By the same token they didn't particularly notice as I lost it either - not quite so heartwarming - but understandable. When I sorted out some 'before' photos a little while ago - one of them being on here - my eldest son was quite shocked. Even though he's in the photo he doesn't remember that I looked like that. And I might add that I wasn't at my heaviest in that photo. I'd lost either a stone and a half or two stone, I can't quite remember.
So from 15st 9.5lbs at my heaviest I weighed in this week at 10st 3.8lbs. This after 10 weeks of maintenance but I don't kid myself I've 'cracked it' - not by a long chalk.
With just 5 more sleeps till my first 'thin' holiday for an awfully long time the only fly in that particular ointment is the new 15kg luggage allowance GRRRRRR!! I could have done sooo much more shopping!!??!! ;o)
Katelios, Kefalonia - next tuesday here we come!!!! :o))) xx
Thursday, 27 August 2009
Next Installment ...
So .... to continue ....
I've been thinking since my last entry - about those slimming clubs and trying to remember the names of them. I mean there were the usual suspects .... That first one I joined was a 'Slimming Magazine' club. I was a member of one of those at least twice, probably more times. I did 'Slimmer', 'Slimming World' of course - this was a favourite. I even moved to a house in 1997 which had one of these going on three times a week on the other side of the road!! I should probably add that I didn't know this when we bought it but hey! .. It adds to the story ;o). There was 'WeightWatchers' of course - only the once for that one I think. I can't believe that's all there've been - it seems like more.
Then of course there were all the inbetweeners, those diets we read/hear about as being THE answer. Let's see how many I can remember .... Mao Clinic, Scarsdale, Plain old calorie counting, F Plan, Cabbage Soup, Negative Calorie, Low Fat, What were those biscuits you used to be able to buy in the chemists? Probably the very first meal replacement system - donkey's years ago ... hmmmm ...... with the help of Mr Google I've just 'remembered' they were called 'Limits'! Atkins, You Are What You Eat, Carol Vorderman, Nerys & India's Idiot Proof, Low GI/GL, FatLoss4Idiots, Cambridge, Food Doctor, Bikini (HAH!!), Carb Curfew, Diet Chef .... I KNOW there are more than this but it's a fair selection. If you can think of it - I've more than likely been on it, including total starvation - and most probably more than once.
I EVEN!! And I still can't believe I let myself fall for it .... paid £76 for some pink patch thingymajigs that I had to stick on myself every day. There were going to make all my fat magically disappear don't you know!! They didn't ..... funny that :o)
In my defense I feel compelled to add that these came with a money back guarantee. I carefully photocopied everything pertaining to that and kept it. When they (incredibly surprisingly!) didn't work I sent all this off claiming my refund AND!!??!! ........................................................ Sorry to disappoint you but I got it - refunded onto my credit card - no questions asked..... I still could have kicked myself for falling for the hype though!
So what got rid of the weight this time? ... Lipotrim.
Now I'm not here to extol the virtues of Lipotrim - or any other VLCD for that matter (Very Low Calorie Diet - in case you don't know, though I can't imagine if you're interested in reading this, that you don't already know that ;o) ) because there's one thing that all of these diets, regimes or whatever you want to call them have in common .... they work.
It's an undisputed fact that every single weight loss regime that's out there will work .... us yo-yo-ers are living proof of that after all, - we can lose weight - we're forever proving that. What we suck at (on the whole) is keeping the damn stuff off!!
And that's where I'm going to be different this time.
One thing a VLCD does do is gives you the complete break from food which gives you a rather unique opportunity to break certain ties/habits, whatever you want to call them, and to examine your relationship with food bringing into your conscious awareness areas which may need some 'work'.
You realise how often you would put something in your mouth out of pure habit. Taste everything you're preparing, scrape the last spoonful from the pan/dish/plate and eat it. TFR (Total Food Replacement) forces you to stop doing this because you can't have ANYTHING besides the allowed nutrition packs and permitted drinks.
I WOULD say though that being forced to stop it is great. Whilst NOT doing it you think you've cracked it and never need to do it again and you're right you don't NEED to. You will though ***sigh***. These 'habits' creep back in alarmingly quickly and it can be disappointing to realise that actually changing those things permanently is going to take incredible vigilance and a lot of hard work.
In actual fact TFR is the easiest part. I found it quite enjoyable. I didn't have to think about food for me, didn't have to spend any time preparing, cooking and had very few dishes to wash. My husband (God love him) lived on ready meals most of the time, though during the 15 weeks I did TFR I did cook several times. I had the whole family (and there's lots!) round for at least 2 meals that I can remember right now and had nothing myself. I had Mother's Day and my birthday in there and never broke the diet ONCE. We even went away for 5 days and I stuck to it. I always accompanied my huband for meals - I just didn't eat. I'd either just have black coffee or sparkling water or I'd take one of the flapjacks (fondly and more accurately renamed carpet tiles after tasting them) and have that. If questioned I would say that I had a medical condition (weeeell obesity IS a medical condition ;o) ) and that this was the only way I could take my nutrition at the moment. I have to say the Lipotrim packaging, unlike say - Cambridge for instance, lends itself to the belief that they wouldn't be consumed by choice.
I was never questioned further, well think about it - who is going to want to embarrass you - or themselves for that matter by digging for more information?
So I completed 15 weeks of TFR 2 weeks of re-feeding, where you gradually reintroduce food in a controlled way so's not to pile weight back on and I'm currently in my 11th week of maintenance. I'm not finding maintenance particularly easy which is one of the reasons why I thought this 'blogging' business might help.
Not that I can imagine anyone will be interested in reading it, but nevertheless if it keeps me accountable that's got to help.
I'm also a member of a weight loss support forum at http://www.minimins.co.uk/ which has kept me sane throughout my entire journey. I still keep a diary on there, again for accountability and also to let those still on TFR see that you CAN maintain. It might not necessarily be easy but it can be done. This is a fear many people have because we've all heard the horror stories of the weight piling back on after one of THESE diets.
****NEWSFLASH****
THE WEIGHT PILES BACK ON WHEN YOU STOP ANY DIET IF YOU GO BACK TO EATING THE WAY YOU WERE BEFORE!!!
****END OF NEWSFLASH****
I also subscibe to a fabulous inspirational newsletter which arrives in my inbox like clockwork every Saturday at http://www.nowillpowerequired.co.uk/ there is a full archive of all of Mike's previous newletters there too. Brilliant reading.
Well - even though I don't think anyone's reading this yet I don't want to make entries too long & put anyone off so I'm going to leave it there for now .....
See ya soon x
I've been thinking since my last entry - about those slimming clubs and trying to remember the names of them. I mean there were the usual suspects .... That first one I joined was a 'Slimming Magazine' club. I was a member of one of those at least twice, probably more times. I did 'Slimmer', 'Slimming World' of course - this was a favourite. I even moved to a house in 1997 which had one of these going on three times a week on the other side of the road!! I should probably add that I didn't know this when we bought it but hey! .. It adds to the story ;o). There was 'WeightWatchers' of course - only the once for that one I think. I can't believe that's all there've been - it seems like more.
Then of course there were all the inbetweeners, those diets we read/hear about as being THE answer. Let's see how many I can remember .... Mao Clinic, Scarsdale, Plain old calorie counting, F Plan, Cabbage Soup, Negative Calorie, Low Fat, What were those biscuits you used to be able to buy in the chemists? Probably the very first meal replacement system - donkey's years ago ... hmmmm ...... with the help of Mr Google I've just 'remembered' they were called 'Limits'! Atkins, You Are What You Eat, Carol Vorderman, Nerys & India's Idiot Proof, Low GI/GL, FatLoss4Idiots, Cambridge, Food Doctor, Bikini (HAH!!), Carb Curfew, Diet Chef .... I KNOW there are more than this but it's a fair selection. If you can think of it - I've more than likely been on it, including total starvation - and most probably more than once.
I EVEN!! And I still can't believe I let myself fall for it .... paid £76 for some pink patch thingymajigs that I had to stick on myself every day. There were going to make all my fat magically disappear don't you know!! They didn't ..... funny that :o)
In my defense I feel compelled to add that these came with a money back guarantee. I carefully photocopied everything pertaining to that and kept it. When they (incredibly surprisingly!) didn't work I sent all this off claiming my refund AND!!??!! ........................................................ Sorry to disappoint you but I got it - refunded onto my credit card - no questions asked..... I still could have kicked myself for falling for the hype though!
So what got rid of the weight this time? ... Lipotrim.
Now I'm not here to extol the virtues of Lipotrim - or any other VLCD for that matter (Very Low Calorie Diet - in case you don't know, though I can't imagine if you're interested in reading this, that you don't already know that ;o) ) because there's one thing that all of these diets, regimes or whatever you want to call them have in common .... they work.
It's an undisputed fact that every single weight loss regime that's out there will work .... us yo-yo-ers are living proof of that after all, - we can lose weight - we're forever proving that. What we suck at (on the whole) is keeping the damn stuff off!!
And that's where I'm going to be different this time.
One thing a VLCD does do is gives you the complete break from food which gives you a rather unique opportunity to break certain ties/habits, whatever you want to call them, and to examine your relationship with food bringing into your conscious awareness areas which may need some 'work'.
You realise how often you would put something in your mouth out of pure habit. Taste everything you're preparing, scrape the last spoonful from the pan/dish/plate and eat it. TFR (Total Food Replacement) forces you to stop doing this because you can't have ANYTHING besides the allowed nutrition packs and permitted drinks.
I WOULD say though that being forced to stop it is great. Whilst NOT doing it you think you've cracked it and never need to do it again and you're right you don't NEED to. You will though ***sigh***. These 'habits' creep back in alarmingly quickly and it can be disappointing to realise that actually changing those things permanently is going to take incredible vigilance and a lot of hard work.
In actual fact TFR is the easiest part. I found it quite enjoyable. I didn't have to think about food for me, didn't have to spend any time preparing, cooking and had very few dishes to wash. My husband (God love him) lived on ready meals most of the time, though during the 15 weeks I did TFR I did cook several times. I had the whole family (and there's lots!) round for at least 2 meals that I can remember right now and had nothing myself. I had Mother's Day and my birthday in there and never broke the diet ONCE. We even went away for 5 days and I stuck to it. I always accompanied my huband for meals - I just didn't eat. I'd either just have black coffee or sparkling water or I'd take one of the flapjacks (fondly and more accurately renamed carpet tiles after tasting them) and have that. If questioned I would say that I had a medical condition (weeeell obesity IS a medical condition ;o) ) and that this was the only way I could take my nutrition at the moment. I have to say the Lipotrim packaging, unlike say - Cambridge for instance, lends itself to the belief that they wouldn't be consumed by choice.
I was never questioned further, well think about it - who is going to want to embarrass you - or themselves for that matter by digging for more information?
So I completed 15 weeks of TFR 2 weeks of re-feeding, where you gradually reintroduce food in a controlled way so's not to pile weight back on and I'm currently in my 11th week of maintenance. I'm not finding maintenance particularly easy which is one of the reasons why I thought this 'blogging' business might help.
Not that I can imagine anyone will be interested in reading it, but nevertheless if it keeps me accountable that's got to help.
I'm also a member of a weight loss support forum at http://www.minimins.co.uk/ which has kept me sane throughout my entire journey. I still keep a diary on there, again for accountability and also to let those still on TFR see that you CAN maintain. It might not necessarily be easy but it can be done. This is a fear many people have because we've all heard the horror stories of the weight piling back on after one of THESE diets.
****NEWSFLASH****
THE WEIGHT PILES BACK ON WHEN YOU STOP ANY DIET IF YOU GO BACK TO EATING THE WAY YOU WERE BEFORE!!!
****END OF NEWSFLASH****
I also subscibe to a fabulous inspirational newsletter which arrives in my inbox like clockwork every Saturday at http://www.nowillpowerequired.co.uk/ there is a full archive of all of Mike's previous newletters there too. Brilliant reading.
Well - even though I don't think anyone's reading this yet I don't want to make entries too long & put anyone off so I'm going to leave it there for now .....
See ya soon x
Saturday, 22 August 2009
Here Goes ......!!
I guess it's time I started writing!! It seems like it's going to be such a mammoth task you see - covering 33 years of yo-yo-ing - that I've kept putting it off. But doing that is defeating the whole object so I'll just have to get on with it ;o).
I was your typical fat child - teased mercilessly at school, laughed at, picked last for any teams - when I could be dragged out of the toilets to join in with any of these horrendous ordeals that is. In fact I must have had more periods than any female in the history of civilisation and I managed to get about a year off PE after I had my appendix out when I was 14.
I've never really understood exactly why I was fat. Mum always had a weight 'problem'. My sister was overweight too (although memory tells me she lost all hers once and has kept it off ever since - B***H! ;o) - her recollection may be different but that's how it seemed to me). One of my mother's sisters watched her weight but I never remember her being HUGE, though now both of her daughters struggle as I have. Mum's other sister actually died of Anorexia before anybody knew what it was - in the 50's. So actually I guess that says a lot.
I've never been aware of anyone on my father's side having any particular weight issues.
I DO know that to be a 'good girl' I had to clear my plate. To have any afters I had to clear my plate. To not get the rest of this meal as a starter for the next one I had to clear my plate. To not be made to feel guilty about all those poor starving children in Africa I had to clear my plate .... catching the drift here?
I didn't realise it then but I think we had big portions too. I remember noticing how little we got if we ate at anyone else's house. One time in particular sticks in my mind when we all went home and had another meal thinking how mean our hostess had been with the food. Funny how that family were all slim though - and still are.
My mother still sees it as a mortal sin to put food in the bin and that has nothing to do with the cost - it's only about the 'waste'. I'm sure this is a throwback to the war and as such understandable but not particularly helpful to those of us who really want to learn to leave what we don't need with a sense of achievement, not guilt.
As I left school and started work my weight levelled off a bit. I have no idea what I actually weighed but I don't remember 'dieting'. I met my 1st husband when I was 17 and I know when I got married at 19 I was about 10st. For my 5'6" this wasn't too bad. However I've always been the victim (in my opinion) of a strange phenomenon. That is that my weight & height and the way I look don't tally with the actual size I am - never have. That wedding dress was a size 16. I know people now who are 5'2" 14st and in a size 10/12 .... I have NEVER been able to work that one out. Like lots of other things, it's taken me an awful of years to accept that's the way I am ... and what does it matter??
I'm currently still 5'6" (as far as I know) Around 10st 4lbs and generally in a 14.
I believe my slippery slope - the day I 'condemned myself' to the yo-yo was the day I first joined a slimming club. Not that I'm knocking slimming clubs per se - don't get me wrong. In fact I think they're great. No - what I'm knocking is my decision to join one THEN. It must have been a big deal for me because I can remember every single detail - even what I was wearing, and that was 33 years ago when I was 21.
I could really kick myself because if I'd only been able to see and accept then what I now believe, I could have saved all these years of heartache. If only I could have seen that actually the weight I was was reasonable for my height. I think I got hung up on the 'size' issue I mentioned earlier. Because when I joined that slimming club I was 10st 8lbs. It'd be laughable if it wasn't so sad. I'll be quite happy if I can maintain around that weight now ....... ****BIG SIGH****
Well that was the start for me. I won't bore you with all the details of the ups and downs. Suffice to say at one time or another in those 33 years I have belonged to EVERY slimming club known to man at least once, with the notable exception of Rosemary Conley and I bet you can guess why ..... they use the dreaded 'e' word .... exercise that is. Ooooo no - the thought of prancing around for part of the class was enough to put me off ever trying that particular regime.
I have belonged to gyms - even though I'm gymphobic. I've had several of the video/dvds which I've watched and even tried to follow now and again. I did have some success with one of them actually. They're just like diets - they all work, all you have to do is be focussed and determined and stick to them ..... simple :oP
I put on 2, 3 & 4 stones with each of my 3 children respectively - never quite getting it all off of course before adding to it with the next one.
I've been up as high as 15st 9.5lbs and down as low as 8st 9lbs - this with the Cambridge diet in 1986.
In March 2000 I gave up smoking - and you think I'm going to say put loads of weight on don't you?? Well I didn't - in fact I was attending Slimming World (again!) at the time and I continued to lose weight - mind you I was running as well which helped. I did the Race for Life in the June but then a few weeks later I got pain in my hip whilst running and had to stop. Despite seeing my GP and then a private physiotherapist it took sooo long to get right I'd gone off the idea - lost all my fitness and of course started to gain again.
I DID go through a stage when I felt I was banging my head against a brick wall. I felt I really was trying but getting nowhere. I think this was when menopause was setting in - I therefore needed less calories than I used to, so it would have been true that doing what once would have led to weight loss didn't have the same effect any more and I found that truly depressing.
I didn't know then that with each new decade we should eat less and exercise more as apparently we need less calories to survive and therefore maintain. Our 60s has the most marked drop they say - oh joy - I still have that to look forward to then :o{
There's more to come but that'll do for now. I'll bring us up to date next time. xx
I was your typical fat child - teased mercilessly at school, laughed at, picked last for any teams - when I could be dragged out of the toilets to join in with any of these horrendous ordeals that is. In fact I must have had more periods than any female in the history of civilisation and I managed to get about a year off PE after I had my appendix out when I was 14.
I've never really understood exactly why I was fat. Mum always had a weight 'problem'. My sister was overweight too (although memory tells me she lost all hers once and has kept it off ever since - B***H! ;o) - her recollection may be different but that's how it seemed to me). One of my mother's sisters watched her weight but I never remember her being HUGE, though now both of her daughters struggle as I have. Mum's other sister actually died of Anorexia before anybody knew what it was - in the 50's. So actually I guess that says a lot.
I've never been aware of anyone on my father's side having any particular weight issues.
I DO know that to be a 'good girl' I had to clear my plate. To have any afters I had to clear my plate. To not get the rest of this meal as a starter for the next one I had to clear my plate. To not be made to feel guilty about all those poor starving children in Africa I had to clear my plate .... catching the drift here?
I didn't realise it then but I think we had big portions too. I remember noticing how little we got if we ate at anyone else's house. One time in particular sticks in my mind when we all went home and had another meal thinking how mean our hostess had been with the food. Funny how that family were all slim though - and still are.
My mother still sees it as a mortal sin to put food in the bin and that has nothing to do with the cost - it's only about the 'waste'. I'm sure this is a throwback to the war and as such understandable but not particularly helpful to those of us who really want to learn to leave what we don't need with a sense of achievement, not guilt.
As I left school and started work my weight levelled off a bit. I have no idea what I actually weighed but I don't remember 'dieting'. I met my 1st husband when I was 17 and I know when I got married at 19 I was about 10st. For my 5'6" this wasn't too bad. However I've always been the victim (in my opinion) of a strange phenomenon. That is that my weight & height and the way I look don't tally with the actual size I am - never have. That wedding dress was a size 16. I know people now who are 5'2" 14st and in a size 10/12 .... I have NEVER been able to work that one out. Like lots of other things, it's taken me an awful of years to accept that's the way I am ... and what does it matter??
I'm currently still 5'6" (as far as I know) Around 10st 4lbs and generally in a 14.
I believe my slippery slope - the day I 'condemned myself' to the yo-yo was the day I first joined a slimming club. Not that I'm knocking slimming clubs per se - don't get me wrong. In fact I think they're great. No - what I'm knocking is my decision to join one THEN. It must have been a big deal for me because I can remember every single detail - even what I was wearing, and that was 33 years ago when I was 21.
I could really kick myself because if I'd only been able to see and accept then what I now believe, I could have saved all these years of heartache. If only I could have seen that actually the weight I was was reasonable for my height. I think I got hung up on the 'size' issue I mentioned earlier. Because when I joined that slimming club I was 10st 8lbs. It'd be laughable if it wasn't so sad. I'll be quite happy if I can maintain around that weight now ....... ****BIG SIGH****
Well that was the start for me. I won't bore you with all the details of the ups and downs. Suffice to say at one time or another in those 33 years I have belonged to EVERY slimming club known to man at least once, with the notable exception of Rosemary Conley and I bet you can guess why ..... they use the dreaded 'e' word .... exercise that is. Ooooo no - the thought of prancing around for part of the class was enough to put me off ever trying that particular regime.
I have belonged to gyms - even though I'm gymphobic. I've had several of the video/dvds which I've watched and even tried to follow now and again. I did have some success with one of them actually. They're just like diets - they all work, all you have to do is be focussed and determined and stick to them ..... simple :oP
I put on 2, 3 & 4 stones with each of my 3 children respectively - never quite getting it all off of course before adding to it with the next one.
I've been up as high as 15st 9.5lbs and down as low as 8st 9lbs - this with the Cambridge diet in 1986.
In March 2000 I gave up smoking - and you think I'm going to say put loads of weight on don't you?? Well I didn't - in fact I was attending Slimming World (again!) at the time and I continued to lose weight - mind you I was running as well which helped. I did the Race for Life in the June but then a few weeks later I got pain in my hip whilst running and had to stop. Despite seeing my GP and then a private physiotherapist it took sooo long to get right I'd gone off the idea - lost all my fitness and of course started to gain again.
I DID go through a stage when I felt I was banging my head against a brick wall. I felt I really was trying but getting nowhere. I think this was when menopause was setting in - I therefore needed less calories than I used to, so it would have been true that doing what once would have led to weight loss didn't have the same effect any more and I found that truly depressing.
I didn't know then that with each new decade we should eat less and exercise more as apparently we need less calories to survive and therefore maintain. Our 60s has the most marked drop they say - oh joy - I still have that to look forward to then :o{
There's more to come but that'll do for now. I'll bring us up to date next time. xx
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